EDITOR'S NOTE:  The Candid Conservative is not with us this edition, but thankfully he stirred up a surprise fill-in. You may variously know him as Satan, the Devil, the Destroyer, the Force of Darkness or the Deceiver. In a rare moment of candor – and in a Daily Planet exclusive – the Prince of Darkness has kindly(?) taken time out of his busy schedule to submit a guest opinion piece on his mission and method. To share appreciation, you can reach him through his webpage – thedeceiver.com. He also values supportive letters to the editor.

Yes, it’s true. If you do not believe me, trudge around in your Bible a bit (but not so much that you might come to like it) and you’ll understand why I am called the “Prince of the World.”

That means I have free rein to run amok among you and stir up an endless variety of trials, tribulations, turmoils and troubles. 

No one is immune from my deluge of mischief and mayhem – most especially Christians.

Their faith – big or small – makes it much more difficult for me to win them and own them, and so I try harder. Most people just walk into my arms. People of faith, I have to chase. I resent that.

And so, I tempt them, relentlessly, to do the things their Heavenly Father – and I hate saying this, but he is mine too – tells us not to do. Where do people think the term “Devilment” came from?

That same Bible that honestly reveals that I’m the ruler of this world also encourages people to resist me. 

How does one do that? 

Certainly not by fighting me directly How mindless it is to believe any mortal can do that. The only way I can be defeated is by embracing God, following his will, and thereby receiving his protection and strength.

Thank goodness it’s not in the nature of man to do that. Humans like to do their own thing and imagine they’re in supreme charge of their own destiny. They cling to the ridiculous notion that there is no such thing as good and evil, right and wrong, faithful and sinful. 

 I especially hate that last silly word. It warns that there are things one can do that can damage their soul. It suggests that – in contrast to my way – there really are such things as normalcy, goodness, purity, love, nobility and grace. Heaven forbid.

 Sin is simply defined. It’s anything that takes one away from God. So what?

 I like my way so much better and apparently most people agree with me. 

Far better it is to let one’s heart follow personal whims and whimseys. There is liberation in doing what one wants to do, where, when, and how one wants to, without the hindrances of morality, values and accountability. 

Liberation without responsibility is one of my favorite seductions. Look at the world today – and I’m especially delighted with Asheville’s progress – to mark my success is selling this illusion.

And sell I must. God chooses not to make men do anything. I do not have the power to make men do anything. Though I rule the world, I do not have the authority to control personal choices. 

Mortals must come to me as a volunteer. People have no idea how blessed I am with helpers.

 There is a reason I win so many people. God’s way is hard – he holds everyone answerable to his will and the power and sacrifices of love and light. 

My way is easy. I do my best to relieve everyone of individual accountabilities and to generously provide the temporary comfort and power of sin and darkness.

 Some may have noticed that I rarely reveal my presence through glowing red eyes, pitchforks, vomiting teenagers or eerie background music. 

Far more often than not, I’m concealed behind shininess, fun and a smile. In my business, like most on a fallen planet, truth-in-advertising is not helpful to my agenda. 

 Sure, I may not be able to make anyone come to me, but oh-how-sweetly I can tempt. 

 And I will not stop, and I can count on the fact that most will make it easy for me.

 They will do that by forgetting the only one who can truly protect them.

 Yes, of course I’m out to get you. Just now figuring that out?