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Tuesday, 29 August 2006 21:04 |
 | Andy Borowitz
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Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., said today that she was "just trying to be helpful" when she offered to housesit for President Bush at the White House for the remainder of August.
Sen. Clinton, who was immediately criticized by
congressional Republicans for advancing the proposal, said that her
only intention was to "hold down the fort" while Mr. Bush took his
traditional August vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.
"I would water plants and take in the mail," Sen. Clinton told
reporters. "And if any Presidential Daily Briefings come across the
desk with titles like ǃÚBin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the U.S.,ë
I would read those for him."
Leading Republicans on Capitol Hill blasted Ms. Clintonës offer, with
Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., claiming that the house-sitting
proposal "reeked of opportunism."
"She just wants to know what itës like to be in the Oval Office," Sen.
Frist said. "After all, when her husband was in there, he always kept
the door locked."
At the presidentës ranch in Crawford, White House spokesman Tony Snow
said that Mr. Bush had politely declined Sen. Clintonës proposal,
"although the offer to read stuff for him was pretty attractive." Mr.
Snow said that if Sen. Clinton really wanted to be helpful, she could
come out to Crawford and do the chores that Mr. Bush finds too onerous.
"There are plenty of things the president doesnët like to do at the
ranch," Mr. Snow said. "Like talk to Cindy Sheehan." Elsewhere, former
FEMA chief Michael Brown said he would mark the anniversary of
Hurricane Katrina by returning his calls from a year ago.
Award-winning humorist, television
personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book "The
Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers."
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