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Tuesday, 06 June 2006 12:58 |
| The Advice Goddess
Amy Alkon
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My 43-year-old boyfriend is sweet, caring and somebody I believe I can trust. During our year together, he??s mentioned his boss?? 22-year-old daughter from time to time. Granted, he??s a ?®talker,?∆ sometimes telling me more than I want to know, but he remarked on shoes she wore one day, and acknowledged he knows her birthday. Now she??s asked him to take her for a ride on his motorcycle sometime. He told her he would, and I??m a little leery about this, and let him know. Do you think I??m being overly possessive and jealous?
?? Backseat Driver
Jealousy
is nature??s car alarm. Sometimes car alarms go off for a good reason;
sometimes it??s just a really big crow pooping on your hood.
Whether this girl is only teasing or trying to jack your man, it??s okay
to be uncomfortable with a 22-year-old with cute shoes clinging for
dear life to your boyfriend and squealing girlishly as they take the
curves. While your boyfriend may have the best of intentions (plus,
maybe, an impaired ability to say ?®no?∆), surely he??d have an easier
time winding his way there if the rideshare request came from Sloppy
Bob from shipping.
There??s nothing the average straight guy lives for like the opportunity
to say, ?®Yo, Bob, just grab me around the waist, press that paunch of
yours into the small of my back, and we??re off!?∆
It is possible a motorcycle ride could lead to something ??
decapitation, for example. How you deal with the motorcycle ride could
also lead to something. There are two kinds of women in the
relationship world: ?®the girlfriend?∆ and ?®the enemy.?∆
The quickest way to go from G to E is to cajole the truth out of a guy,
then grab it in your hands like a club and beat him senseless.
In other words, it??s a bad idea to punish your boyfriend just because
some girl asked for a ride, he said ?®yes,?∆ and was honest about it ??
?®honest?∆ perhaps being a euphemism for ?®less in need of truth serum
than shut-up serum.?∆
Yes doesn??t always mean ?®yes,?∆ but along with ?®Sure thing!?∆
?®Certainly!?∆ and ?®Bend over how far??∆ it??s an answer commonly given
when the boss?? daughter asks for a favor. Your boyfriend may have no
intention of following through ?? if he??s even given it a second
thought.
So, why risk giving you the impression he??s being chased by a
22-year-old with remarkable shoes? Maybe he??s clueless as to how to
handle this, and is asking for input the manly-man way ?? or maybe he??s
just bragging.
People say you can??t change men. They??re wrong. The minute you realize
you??re dating a dud, you can change men immediately. But, once you hit
the one-year mark, you??ve got what you??ve got. Either your boyfriend??s
trustworthy or he isn??t.
Avoid any temptation to tell him he??d better not have any freshly
minted breasts pressed up against the back of his motorcycle jacket.
The worst way to get anything from a man is to demand it. Assuming he??s
a good guy, just let him know he makes you happy ?? in general, and
whenever he does something right.
Then, on the rare occasion he makes you not-so-happy, you can probably
just hint, say, that the lunchtime Lolita rides aren??t the highlight of
your bliss, and trust him to do the right thing.
You still might
spot him taking her for a spin around the block on the old Harley.
You??re just unlikely to see it parked afterward at a pay-by-the-hour
motel.
Bottle cruiser
After
relentlessly trying to scam women into liking me, I stumbled into a
relationship with a great girl who makes it easy for me to be me.
Today, at the salad bar, this very attractive woman was wearing this
incredible perfume. I wanted to ask what it was so I could get it for
my girlfriend, but I was afraid of coming off like the old me. This
seems dumb, but how do you approach a woman when you have a real
question for her?
?? Reformed Jerk
I hate to break
it to you, after the years you must??ve spent claiming you just had time
for a one-night stand between operations on third world children??s
harelips, but the truth would have been a much better scam.
You want to know what perfume some woman??s got on? No need to drag out
the twin sisters with brain tumors. Just ask, taking care to mention
the presence of a girlfriend up front, as in, ?®Pardon me, but my
girlfriend would love that fragrance ...?∆
You??d be surprised how many women go for a man who has the confidence
to be real ?? exciting as it must be hearing how you saved your entire
Navy Seals unit and still had the energy to fight off your stalker,
Lindsay Lohan.
?ÿ
Got a problem?
Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or
e-mail AdviceAmy-at-aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)
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