From Staff Reports

Waking Life Espresso on Sept. 17-18 temporarily closed its one location at 976 Haywood Road in West Asheville, following regular protests in front of the business, sparked by recent revelations that owners Jared Rutledge, 31,  and Jacob Owens, 27, boasted of sexual conquests of local women — including customers — via misogynist Internet posts and podcasts under a pseudonym.

The men have not been charged with a crime by Asheville police, but the mistreatment of the women with whom the duo were sexually involved has prompted wide condemnation as an affront to women in the community. 

The two men have since issued lengthy apologies, admitting to degrading the women in their postings. Some infuriated critics have even suggested the two men, both Asheville natives, leave the city permanently and at once.

In the aftermath, Mountain BizWorks, a local business support group, asked on Sept. 22 that the coffee shop return a loan intended to support the launch of a second location at 89 Patton Avenue, the former site of Artetude Gallery. Patrick Fitzsimmons, executive director of Mountain Bizworks, said the decision to terminate the agreement came without any trouble from the Waking Life owners, who also terminated their Patton Avenue lease. Fitzsimmons called the actions of the two men “deplorable.”

Also on Sept. 22, another nonprofit, Our VOICE, said it would reject any donations given to it by Waking Life. As the protests ramped up, Rutledge and Owens had offered to give proceeds from their business to help the local rape crisis center, which declined the offer because the center felt the two men were trying to buy redemption and questioned their sincerity.

What’s more, Raife Davis, landlord of Waking Life’s Haywood Road location said Sept. 23 he would evict Waking Life, if it cannot be done legally.

Also, a petition was drafted that urged local businesses to pull Waking Life products from their shelves.

Responding to the petition, the owner of Orbit DVD posted on Facebook: “I am going to (go) one further. We have a few bottles of Waking Life coffee left, and they are already paid for. So, for every bottle we sell, Orbit will donate $50 to Our VOICE, the nonprofit dedicated to helping victims of sexual violence.

Further, several interested parties are eyeing the business for takeover, although as of late September neither Rutledge nor co-owner Owens have publicly announced intentions to sell the business.

Using the name “Holistic Game,” Rutledge and Owens allegedly posted content such as (and this is one of their tamer posts), “There are no ‘special’ girls. There are cool ones, and lame ones. There are ones who’ve earned investment, and ones who haven’t. That’s it.”

They referred to women as “plates” to be spun and “juggled.” The authors were outed about a month ago by another anonymous blog, JaredandJacobsaid.

The two men admitted to taking part in the blog/podcast and issued apology statements, closed their shop for the next few days to have “some room for introspection,” Rutledge and Owens wrote. “These attitutudes were not grown in a day, and they will not be destroyed in a day. We want to humbly commit to that process. We’re not good people, but we want to be.”

Rutledge, in a separate apology, noted, “I grew up in West Asheville and have disappointed and brought shame to the community that raised me, and there’s not really anything I can do to make it right. There are no excuses to be made. The way I’ve phrased and framed my private conduct in a sad and tawdry public way is humiliating.”

Meanwhile, Owens wrote, “Under a disguise that I thought would be anonymous, with the accountability that good friends hold you to, this persona that I am fully responsible for was developed into a chauvinist and a misogynist. I love women. I value them. In my experience with them they have taught me of kindness, grace and compassion. Many of my words in the podcast do not reflect that.”

Men, as well as women, protested outside the coffee shop, clutching signs referencing the owners’ most vulgar comments.

Some called for the immediate closure of Waking Life and the demands ranged from “get out of town” to “go find a cliff and jump,” as well as other more graphic condemnations.

The public shaming has reached the point in late September that hundreds, of not thousands, of real-life and social media voices have taken to task the two men. A subgroup of Facebook mobbers posted a thread listing the ways in which women would most like to castrate or kill the two men. Some have posted home addresses of the offenders and photos of family members.

In the meantime, there has been concern expressed in some quarters about critics being unforgiving — and not giving the men an opportunity to make amends.

To that end, the Rev. Howard Hanger, founder of the nondenominational Jubilee! Community Church in downtown Asheville, recently asserted, “Yom Kippup is about being at one with God. And how are you one with God? You ask for forgiveness and you forgive.

“‘Do these guys deserve a good tongue lashing? Yes. And they got it. They’ve lost the downtown shop. They’ve lost business and they’ve lost the respect of the community. The thing to do is to go to them and ask, ‘How can I help you move on?’”

In addition, activists have organized several community forums on the rape culture and how it contributes to sexual violence, prompted by events at Waking Life Espresso. One was held Sept. 27 at VaVaVoom, a woman-owned downtown boutique and lingerie shop; and Sept. 30 at UNC Asheville.

UNCA also will host a screening of the documentary, “The Hunting Ground” at 7 p.m. Oct. 13 in the Humanities Lecture Hall. The film looks at the rape culture on college campuses. After the viewing, there will be a panel discussion raising voices of faculty, students and representatives from Our Voice, the campus police and university counseling staff.

A joint statement from owners of Waking Life Espresso 

To Our Asheville community:

We know many of you are angry right now. That anger is justified. 

There is nothing to balm the wound for now, and we recognize that. We validate and affirm your frustration and disappointment.

We’ve issued separate apologies and those stand more than ever.

We’ve said terrible and demeaning things — things that belie unhealthy thought patterns that do not contribute to a stable and equal society. Things our mothers and sisters had to hear. We cannot and will not excuse these things. We grieve for the systematic and ongoing actions we’ve taken.

We apologize to the women in our lives and the greater community for the harm we’ve caused, and the potential danger weve put them in with our attitudes and beliefs.

We opened Sunday (Sept. 19) in order to have conversations with some of our regular customers, and to give an opportunity for folks to chat, if they wished.

A few did just that, and we’re grateful for your thoughts and feelings. We’re humbled by and undeserving of the grace displayed by you in the face of our acions.

We’re going to close for the next couple days so we can have some room for introspection. We want to allow ourselves to be accountable to our friends, family, employees, clergy and counselors for our actions, and give ourselves room to be silent and reflect.

These attitudes were not grown in a day, and they will not be destroyed in a day. We want to humbly oonnect to that process.

We’re not good people, but we want to be.

We’re going to donate all our business profits through the end of the year to Our VOICE. Many of you in the community have great regard for this organization, and their work is of immense importance. 

We know this is but a step, but it’s something to which we can commit. Our employees who have lost their jobs due to our behavior will be given severance to help as they transition. 

With deepest regret,

— Jared and Jacob