By ELIZABETH MEADS

Imagine an extreme version of ìSurvivorî or a high-tech update of the 1932 classic ìThe Most Dangerous Gameî ó where the contestants are condemned murderers who get to kill each other on camera ó and where the winner is the last killer left alive.

That brutal fantasy is ìThe Condemned.î And in the end, itís just another commercial feature thatís selling what itís condemning: getting off vicariously on violence.

Itís the kind of movie where the nonviolent hero turns into the biggest killer, the Spanish dialogue isnít subtitled (so the viewers donít have to read), and the women are only around for their half-naked bodies and their faces to be slapped.

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The last man or woman standing will go free with fistfuls of dollars. If they donít kill each other, a red explosive device attached to their ankles will do the job.

And to top it all off, Breckel is streaming the action live on the Internet (spy cameras have been set up all over the island), charging $49.99 a pop. He hopes to get as many viewers as the Super Bowl does. And he doesnít care how much blood is spilled.

We donít learn much about the consí backgrounds, but we do discover that one of them, Conrad (played by pro wrestling star Stone Cold Steve Austin), was in a hellish South American prison because he was double-crossed by his employer, the FBI.

The other contestants do violent or idiotic things, like stabbing each other on camera or adopting the buddy system ó which seems futile, since only one of them will be left alive. Conrad, by contrast, does sensible things, like killing the really, really bad guys (as opposed to killers with a speck of good) and delivering short messages of fair play.

As an actor, Steve Austin fits a very standard action-hero. He has only two expressions ó angry and angrier ó but then, that may be the reason why heís become an international star on the wrestling circuit.

The director, Scott Wiper, makes no attempt to humanize his characters or to add a bit of desperately needed humor. Instead, this movie is an unrelenting onslaught of savage, stomach-churning violence, tough-guy language and cheesy Nickelback songs.

But, you might enjoy it if youíre an Austin fanatic or reality-TV hater ó or if your favorite fantasy involves being a famous wrestler trekking through the jungle on TV, hunted by crazed killers and guys disguised as small trees.
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Elizabeth Meads, a junior at UNC Asheville majoring in multimedia arts and science, works for the Daily Planet.