“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”

— John F. Kennedy

The problem

Don’t look now, but we live in a community of relentless conformity. 

Blue hair, gender swapping, full-monty tattoos, substance dependent euphoria and anarchistic radicalism have become today’s version of a ‘70s polyester leisure suit.

There are so many people working so hard to look hip that everyone’s looking the same.

All generations try to lay their unique touch on the world. That’s OK – even good. What’s not is pretending fifty-shades of sameness grants immunity from conformity’s smothering touch.

Conformity is like craft beer – too much makes you stupid.

Actually, craft beer is a perfect metaphor. Can you believe we’ve arrived at a time and place where spending five bucks for a beer is considered cool?

No wonder everybody’s crying about Asheville’s affordability. We’re shoveling out thirty cents an ounce to keep Asheville’s beer-bubble intact. When it pops – and like polyester leisure suits it surely will – maybe we’ll be able to pay the rent.

For those discovering the secret to life cannot be found in beverage constrained largely to the influences of three ingredients, I’d like to help. Below are five attractions that bind and blind one to conformity. There’s recovery in the five conservative-thinker antidotes that follow.

You can read it all in less time than it takes to down that five-dollar pint.

Addiction

Show me a person in emotional pain and I’ll show you an addict. That dependency can be on injected heroin or mall credit cards.  In all cases, addiction hacks the heart out of our character and our future.

Addiction is dedication to anything that crowds out normal living. Human beings are flexible – we’re willing to become addicted to about anything.

Worry, overeating, fear, sloth, anger, and intoxicating substances are some of the more common addictions.

Noteworthy is the reality that with every ounce of addiction comes a matching ounce of denial. That’s where the ‘bind and blind you’ comes into play.

Pleasure

Speaking of addiction, an over-dedication to pleasure ranks at the top of the list.

Everyone wants to feel good, but when that mission becomes Job One, too many other good things are pushed aside.

Which provides more pleasure – overeating or dieting, couch sitting or exercise, sport-sex or committed sex? All are examples where the search for temporary pleasure can trump better things.  

Stand-alone pleasures tend to downgrade the individual. In contrast, the harder to do growth stuff uplifts and improves. That’s pleasure in its best form – as a byproduct of good actions.

Distraction

 We’re designed to function in the present. Most of us spend our time everywhere but there.

 Distractions are an effective way to escape the present. In little doses, it’s no big deal. As a lifestyle, it keeps us always living ahead of ourselves.

 A life built on distraction is like traveling via a jet. There’s a difference in going far and going well.

Anger

This one is the king of binders and blinders. Anger works as a temporary strength elixir, but it achieves that magic by making one stupid, reactive, immature and corruptible.

Don’t look now, but our culture is growing angrier by the minute. That’s why you’re seeing a lot of the other stuff too.

Don’t want to be bound and gagged by anger? Shower the world with forgiveness – it’s free and it sets you free.  

Fear and worry

It’s interesting that these are the two most referenced sins in the Bible. That’s because God knew that in a fallen world – one where we hold the priceless power of choice and the forces of darkness are similarly empowered to seduce us – we’d be faced with lots of fear and worry.

Both are toxic and – like peanut butter and crackers – come packaged.  

Counter-measures include creative engagement, productivity, growing, and skills training in managing your head and heart. Many of us find giving our fears and worries to higher spiritual authority to be an indispensable resource.

An easier option is to join the grass-fed herd and smoke lots of weed.

Working

Now that we’ve covered five ‘bind and blind’ conformity traps, let’s flip over to what’s ironically today’s version of non-conformity. Mind if we start with the novel idea of work as a crucial ingredient to happiness?

Work is the healthiest part of most people’s day. We’re useful, engaged, responsible and have a hand in feeding ourselves. Fermenting goofy social policies that relieve people of that responsibility/opportunity should be a crime.

People who figure out how to game the system, their parents or government benevolence may think they’ve gotten by with something. Not true. When you stop working to add something to the world, you start the process of leaving the world.

Learning

Education in all matters is central to maintaining a happy and liberated spirit. The Churchill quote, “Most people die at thirty. Their body lingers on a while longer,” is unfortunately true.

The big bonus with anything you learn is that it’s one of the few things that can never be taken from you.

A quick cue on a conformist is that he or she has an imagined license to stop learning.

Loving

Anything you do for the growth and betterment of yourself and others is love. It’s about that simple – it’s not that easy.

The world is constantly trying to break our love button. That’s because evil – in human or other forms – shrinks in proximity to love.

Love is a skill far more than a feeling or a thought. It must be turned to action to find its deeper mojo.  

Nothing validates your non-conformist credentials like to effort to love without expectation of reward, recognition or return.

Gratitude

Have you noticed how so many people have misplaced their gratitude button?

A great example was found in the recent tax-payer funded teacher’s march on Raleigh. The fact our educators have received a raise four year in a row, and have another one on the way, was lost in the noise. The fact that teachers are working 9 months a year and being paid above the mean wage of NC taxpayers working all year reveals a truism – it’s easy for greed to trample gratitude.

Those who otherwise make an active effort to count their blessings retain a positive and engaged spirit. That commodity is lost amidst the dark confines of angry conformity.

Looking up

Though its increasingly popular to dismiss the existence of higher spiritual authority, some still hold tightly to the value of faith.

We do so for many reasons – including our inability to find impressive results with man-made substitutes.   

In one way or another, the four conformity antidotes mentioned above all came from America’s founding faith – Christianity.  Don’t believe in that founding faith statement? Ask yourself why most of us have a “Christian” name.

Looking up for a compass reading is counter-intuitive. The wisdom of such is demonstrated in the seductive message of secular humanism – more for less. Contrastingly, Christianity takes you higher by making you work harder. Which message do you believe is sincere to nature’s message?

Take a peek at those lost in the endless maze of liberal orthodoxy. If it doesn’t work for them, it won’t do any better by you.

Find your inner non-conformist. Step out of the grass-fed herd….

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Carl Mumpower, a psychologist and former elected official, is chairman of the Buncombe County Republican Party. He can be reached at drmumpower@