Janese Johnson

What would happen if these “titles” that define who you are were to change? What if you lost everything, and found yourself standing in life completely “naked” from the roles that you had previously worn? Would you still like yourself? Would you still relate to others in the same way? Is it even possible to separate who we are within our nature from what roles we identify with?
I believe that the way our culture is set up doesn’t support inner qualities and characteristics as much as it does support certain actions of being. Today I had a discussion with a longtime client of mine. He lives in California, and had climbed the corporate ladder for many years, finally reaching a very high place within that system. He found that he was still unhappy, and then quit it all. In his time off, he discovered new places within his nature that he truly loves. He found time to volunteer and walk his dog, and discovered the joy of motorcycle riding.

In the years that we have worked together, I can tell you that he is much more happy and content in his life than he could have imagined. He is still feeling anxious because he has put a lot of emphasis on getting recognition from others for his behavior. He now is finding himself learning new ways to appreciate himself.He is sorting out the difference between what is important for him versus what he knows others want for him.

A friend recently shared with me that he finds that he has tried to fit into the mainstream for so long, and feels so lost in it, that he has found an alternative subculture to identify with, so that he doesn’t feel so weird in the world. This has deeply affected his self esteem because he longs to be seen and appreciated as the kind-hearted, sensitive man that he is.

His feelings are not uncommon. There are many who feel that parts of their nature are too ... “something” to be accepted in the world.

I believe that it is because we have become too identified with a hierarchical system of values that has the ability to make money at the top of it. So those who desire to live more simply are not seen as worthy, and they have been given messages from others that their way is not the best.

This societal “rulebook,” which states how people ought to live in order to be respected and loved, has caused many precious and kind people much suffering.

When we are born, we are naturally precious. Infants are naturally loving and sensitive. Many children are creative, idealistic and kind. Those qualities seem to be closer to who we are at our core than the ones that we have learned. Doesn’t it seem important not only to value those qualities, but also to cultivate them in a larger way in the world?

The more closely we live life to our true nature, the more happy and healthy we will all be. Many who are discontent within their own selves can only relate to others in a similar manner. We can attribute much of the personal and global suffering we see to greed and external identifications. Doesn’t it stand to reason that the more we value our own inner nature, the less attached we are to the external attachments that cause so much suffering?

That way, if we do lose everything, we are still clear on who we are. Who we are and have always been is a precious and loving being. If we cannot feel that, then perhaps we need to go a little deeper within our true self to feel that this indeed is an aspect of our true self.

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Janese Johnson has been doing intuitive counseling nationally for more than 20 years. She may be contacted at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .