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Tuesday, 04 July 2006 13:40 |
| | Andy Borowitz |
At a joint press conference today in Washington, White House advisor Karl Rove said that he would be plotting the Republican Party??s fall election strategy with his longtime comrade-in-arms, Satan.
The Prince of Darkness, wearing his traditional red horns and cape and carrying a smoldering pitchfork, appeared to beam as Mr. Rove, his prot?‡g?‡, talked about how much he was looking forward to working with him on the fall campaign.
?®Every time Satan and I get together, good things happen,?∆ Mr. Rove said, adding, ?®Or should I say ?± bad things happen!?∆
The two of them then dissolved in laughter, demonstrating an easy
collegiality that has made them an unbeatable team in past G.O.P.
campaigns.
Satan??s partnership with Mr. Rove goes back to 1994, when the two of
them teamed up to orchestrate George W. Bush??s first election as
Governor.
But their work together reached its apogee, perhaps, during the 2004
presidential election, in which Mr. Rove and Satan devised the infernal
?®Swift Boat Veterans for Truth?∆ campaign.
While Satan let Mr. Rove have most of the spotlight in the hour-long
press conference, he did take the microphone to say that he had been
?®relieved?∆ recently when the White House advisor was cleared of all
charges in the CIA leak investigation.
?®I can??t imagine running a Republican campaign without my buddy here,?∆
he said, giving Mr. Rove a bear hug. ?®There are plenty of Satans out
there, but there??s only one Karl Rove.?∆
Elsewhere, Dan Rather retired from CBS after 44 years there, but said that he would remain active in news and misinformation.
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