Janese Johnson

Most individuals who lose their children to violence become vengeful and bitter.

Then there are those few beautiful and rare souls who see beyond the killing into the deeper picture of the soul. With violence increasing in the U.S., and our children being exposed to so much of it, we can definitely learn from these amazing individuals who have gone beyond the normal act of forgiveness into true compassion.

Last year the Amish community lost 10 of its children because a gunman went into the schoolhouse and killed them. The Amish responded with forgiveness. They even offered food to the wife of the gunman.

When asked why they are forgiving this situation that they had every reason to revenge, one Amish residentís response was, ìI donít think thereís anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way, but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts.î He added that this is the true Christian way.

Recently, I had a wonderful opportunity to hear Azim Khamisa talk about his path of forgiveness with the ìboyî who murdered his son. Azimís son Tariq was a 20-year-old university student with a part-time job delivering pizzas. One evening in 1995, Tariq was shot and killed by a 14-year-old gang member who was told to shoot him. The 14-year-old was tried as an adult and will be in prison until 2027.

Because of Azimís Sufi Muslim faith and many hours of inner reflection, he came to a realization that America not only lost one boy that night, but there were two victims. One was his son, and the other was the killer.

He vowed to learn about gangs, and to truly make a difference in helping kids learn about nonviolence. He started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, or TKF. He then went to the grandfather of the boy who killed his son, and asked if they could work together in helping the healing for each other, and for the country.

They still work diligently creating programs for kids in school and in the criminal-justice system to help the youths connect with their souls. Ples, the boyís grandfather, is Christian, and Azim is Muslim.

They both feel that their vision is connecting individuals to their souls, and they have helped thousands of kids choose a path of nonviolence. Their website is www.tkf.org.

Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years fighting apartheid in South African. A great many South African children lost their lives fighting apartheid. Mandela had every reason to come out of prison after all those decades with a desire to cause suffering to those who caused suffering to his country for so many years ó but instead he came out with a vision of reconciliation and negotiation between South Africaís blacks and whites.

When people asked him why he was trying so hard to create harmony with the ìenemies,î he said, ìIf you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.î

His vision was so powerful that he is now working on a larger scale with the world. He now is involved in the Global Elders group, which consists of 12 wise men and women from around the world whose goal is finding solutions to the worldís problems.

These extraordinary people are only a few of many from around the world who believe that true freedom comes from an act of forgiveness. Azim quoted someone who said, ìwithout forgiveness, the person who is hating is like a person who takes poison, and is waiting for their enemy to die.î

The poison of hate and revenge is detrimental to our well being ó not to the person that we are in pain over.

So if there is anything in your heart that is holding you hostage in anger and revenge, perhaps seeing the person in a different way can bring you to a place of true peace. Azim saw his sonís murderer as a victim of our culture.

The Amish saw the killer as a lost soul, and Mandela felt that the only road to peace was to ìpartnerî with those who wished him death. Each one saw the killers as something other than just killers, and because of that, they were able to truly enter a path of real and lasting peace.

Azim truly believes that if we teach our children a path of nonviolence, then quickly we can become a country leading and resolving issues through peaceful means, and not violent means. He feels that small changes in our children go a long way ó but first we must embrace that concept of nonviolence within our own selves.

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Janese Johnson has been doing intuitive counseling nationally for more than 20 years. She may be contacted at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .