Marc Mullinax

ìI want to break free.îó Queen
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MARS HILL ñ ìJust hold my hand,î he said, ìand youíll be fine.î

The year is 1991 and Iím in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Some fellow seminary students, professors and even the president from Union Seminary in New York are on a ìtheological tourî of Brazil, examining how its various theologies have a real economic and social impact upon the people.

For example, Iíll never forget ìMaria,î a Presbyterian Church Elder, who organized sex workers for justice, but because of economic conditions in her life, remained an active sex worker and an active Elder.

The strangeness continued, and hereís my story. On an afternoon when we have free time, my friend ìSidî and I roam some of the older districts of Rio. Sid is an ìoutî gay man; weíd been in several classes together, so we knew each other well.

Itís late afternoon, and we find ourselves a bit lost, or at least in an unintended part of Rio. My ìgaydarî starts pinging like crazy ó I notice lots of men start to look at me in a very curious kind of way.

ìUm, Sid,î I finally get out, ìIím feeling pretty uncomfortable here. Is it my imagination, or are we in a gay district of Rio? I sense a lot of guys scoping me out.î

Sid looks around, and confirms, ìYep, it appears so.î Heís smiling. I am not. Even though I had paid lip service to being open and affirming with gay people, Iíd never been tested ... never walked my talk.

ìSid,î I say. ìWhat shall I do? I mean, Iím getting lots of looks, some of them are a bit too aggressive for me. Iím out of my comfort zone.î

Very calmly, Sid says to me. ìJust hold my hand, and youíll be fine.î He held out his hand.

I took it. Together, hands linked, we coursed our way through this district for the next hour. Being openly gay and in an apparent gay relationship for an hour gave me incredible peace of mind. When it came time to let go of Sidís hand, I felt the relief, but I also regretted this memorable hour was at an end.

Parts of our world and its people are sometimes just as unfamiliar to us as a gay manís hand was to mine. It is critical that we screw up the courage to shake hands with the entire world. Peace depends upon it. How we connect up with the strange is a telling signal of our spiritual maturity.

Mainstream people have the luxury of defining ìthe normî and what is considered ìnormal.î We in the mainstream carry the power to define who has to squat on the banks of our river. And so, on key issues such as our relationships with the environment, with Muslims, and with other-than-heterosexual people, we are being tested. How deep and wide is our mainstream?

Itís a test we will never pass until we include everyone and every thing in our own boat. The ones we leave out are damning evidence of how small our faith really is. The test is in the flow of the mainstream. Itís not so much who we include, but who we exclude, that tells us what we have really become.

All the faiths worthy of the name that I know about pay lip service to full human rights for all Godís creatures. But when it comes to walking the talk ... we are in a test.

Holding hands with the unfamiliar is sacramental, helping us getting free from the aloneness that we can surround ourselves with. Becoming friends with the unfamiliar is a spiritual task. One cannot worship the familiar on oneís holy day and then discriminate against the unfamiliar the next.

Take the hand of the unfamiliar. Youíll be fine.

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Dr. Marc S. Mullinax, chairman of the philosophy and religion departments at Mars Hill College, can be reached at mmullinax-at-mhc.edu.