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Tuesday, 27 March 2007 14:14 |
 By BLAISE FAY
I didnít think it was possible, but the creators of the ìSawî series have outdone themselves with their latest horror film, ìDead Silence.î
I would go so far as to call it the worst film Iíve ever seen of its genre ó possibly the worst film Iíve ever seen, period.
The film starts out when young couple Jamie (Ryan Kwanten) and Lisa Ashen (Laura Regan) find a mysterious package outside their door containing a creepy-looking ventriloquist dummy.
Instead
of trashing or burning the hideous doll that we later find out is an
omen (which they already knew), the couple play with the doll and then
separate, leaving Lisa alone in a dark house, where appliances start
acting funny and the house falls, well, dead silent.
After the dummy
kills his wife (so predictably it hurts), Jamie Ashen is determined to
find out the real cause of her death, so he travels back to their
hometown, Ravenís Fair, a town with a population of about four people
total.
The landscape of
Ravenís Fair looks like Disneylandís version of a modern-day ghost
town, painfully tacky and overdone. It doesnít give off a realistic
sense of a rundown town at all. Instead, it screams: ill-conceived
movie set.
And thatís not
even the worst of it. Ashen is trailed by detective Jim Lipton (Donnie
Wahlberg) who gives the lamest impression of a wise-cracking cop in the
history of cinema and brandishes his asinine electric razor prop in
almost every scene of the film.
I donít think Iíll ever get over the scene when Lipton chases Ashen, whining, ìI donít have a full tank of gas!î
Once the story
movies to Ravenís Fair, logic has no place in this film. Ashen and
Lipton fight over ìBillyî the doll and meanwhile uncover the story of
ventriloquist Mary Shaw, who killed a boy who taunted her from the
crowd.
Even the most
simple-minded person would leave this film with all types of unanswered
questions, but I think ìDead Silenceî has proven a very good point
about a lot of todayís movie makers ó the better they get at making
previews, the worse they get at making the actual movie.
I wonít go so
far as to expose the shockingly stupid twist ending, but letís just say
ìSawî fans will feel duped and possibly frightened... at how such an
uninspired and absurd story made it to theaters.
There is nothing
good about this film ó the acting is misdirected, thereís no character
development whatsoever, the camera transitions are cheesy, ìShawî and
ìdollsî donít rhyme and itís just not scary.
As for the whole
ventriloquism idea, yeah, itís a good idea, but in ìDead Silenceî it
doesnít work, and ìMagicî did it better.
So please, donít see this film. Itís not just about dummies, it was also made by them.
ï
Blaise Fay works for the Daily Planet.
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