Recently, I was involved in a car accident. Even though no one was hurt, we thought at the time, and we didn’t sustain much damage to our vehicles, we also thought at the time, the lady who hit me took every opportunity to say that it was my fault. It was not.

All I had on my mind that morning was buying a yummy donut from a local donut shop and drinking a delicious cup of coffee and then wham! I got T-boned by a minivan.

In the days since, as the soreness has gotten worse, affecting my ability to write this column, and driving my car has grown scarier while I still wait for the insurance adjustor to come out for a look-see, my annoyance has grown exponentially. And my mind has ventured to magical retaliation.... 

Whoa! What? Let’s slow down and think about this: Do I think she plowed into me intentionally? No. Do I think she meant to knock into my car so hard it dislocated my shoulder blade? 

Heavens, no! Do I think she was trying to make money off me? I drive a six-year-old Toyota sedan. It’s doubtful. Do I think any of this had anything at all to do with me? No. It just happened. She didn’t know me and I’m sure she had better things to do on a cold, grey morning than to stand there shivering and give a police report. 

My point is that this was a random human event. It was stupid and inconvenient, but still a human problem. Even though the accident was out of my hands, the way I responded to it was solely my responsibility. I stayed calm, cool and pleasant. 

When the lady backed into a trash can, pulled up and hit the bumper of a parked car, backed up again and pulled ahead, almost hitting my car for a second time, was I happy the officer saw it all? 

Heck, yeah! I’m not that evolved. 

I use this example because over the past few years, I have observed a disturbing pattern of Americans, in particular, lashing out when they don’t get what they want or what they think they deserve.

They  wallow in their pain and upsets like a helpless victim. Magic is not going to fix your problems. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and putting on your big girl panties will. You have to learn to take personal responsibility for yourself and your actions and stop blaming everyone else.

I’m not saying there’s not a time and a place for magic. But you have to cool down and take stock of the situation and give others the benefit of the doubt. Cursing people is not nice and should not be taken lightly. 

It’s far too easy to utter words in haste and live to regret it. I think a far better option, magically speaking, would be to carve my intention into a candle to have both parties involved in the accident to get well emotionally and physically and have our insurance companies move forward with our claims quickly and then dress it with oils and incense powders for “fast luck” in getting it resolved quickly. There’s no end to the possible combinations of what would work. The point is, this would be an acceptable use of magic. You’re doing it for  yourself as well as for the benefit of others.

Another thing that’s been on my mind quite a bit lately is that the more access we have to information and things, the less we focus on ourselves and our relationships. We grow bored easily and quickly. 

And you know what they say about idle hands. They take to social media and share way too much. Or they call up some dark baddie from the netherworld. Never ever ever call up something because you’re bored! Or even because you can.

Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.

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Shelley Wright, an Asheville native, is a paranormal investigator. She owns and runs Nevermore Mystical Arts shop and works at Wright’s Coin Shop, both in Asheville. Wright also is a weekly participant in the “Speaking of Strange” radio show from 9 p.m. to midnight on most Saturdays on Asheville’s WWNC-AM (570).