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Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:40 |
| | Janese Johnson |
There are so many attributes that humans share. One of the most important is the ability to forgive and accept others.
Whether we do that or not can determine the quality of our lives. Anger, resentment and grief all require much emotional energy. Forgiveness, acceptance and letting go creates space in our hearts and minds to let in positive energy.
Everyday we get opportunities to forgive. Whether it is bad traffic, authorities making choices that affect us negatively, child abuse, neglect or a genocide that has killed many of your family members, forgiveness is a compassionate act and can take years to achieve.
A
beautiful quote by Nathaniel Hawthorn puts it simply, ìIt is to the
credit of human nature that, except where its selfishness is brought
into play, it loves more readily than it hates. Hatred, by a gradual
and quiet process, will even be transformed to love unless the change
be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of
hostility.î
A friend of mine
who was sexually molested by her father from age nine to 12 spent many
years wanting her father to suffer for the pain that he inflicted upon
her. She tried to carry on with her life, but that anger kept
resurfacing. Her emotional baggage kept her from trusting others and
having deep and intimate relationships. She knew she was bound by her
resentment and went into therapy to overcome the pain and anger.
Many years into
the healing process, she realized that her dad not only suffered as she
had wanted, but had punished himself and lived a lonlier life than she
would ever want for anyone.
From this
realization, she developed a compassion for her father which
transformed into forgiveness. This acceptance and forgiveness allowed
her to have deeper trust in herself and others. Her journey of
forgiveness continues as she still must acknowledge her emotional scars
and move forward.
Another
inspiring story about forgiveness that I read recently was about a
woman from Rwanda who witnessed the genocide that tore her country
apart.
She was not
living in Rwanda while the civil war took place, but did lose about 50
of her family members through the killings. She went back into Rwanda
as soon as it was safe for her to go. The brutal stories that she heard
about her familyís deaths were excruciating for her to hear. Her heart
hardened even more. When she found out that the aid money was not going
to the orphans or the widows but was going to the refugees in which
many of them murdered her family and loved ones, she became outraged.
Through that anger she started a foundation to help those who really
needed it to rebuild their life. She feels that for her forgiveness is
coming through the process of helping others.
Each of us has
at least 100 stories of forgiveness. We as humans desire to love more
than we desire to hate. We have the capacity to see beyond the
wrongdoer into their hearts and see that they too are suffering, and
through their suffering they are making bad choices that often hurt
others. When we can see that in others, and we can see that we too have
caused suffering to others because of our own pain, than we can truly
be free of the bonds that weigh us down and prevent us from truly
loving from an open heart.
ï
Janese Johnson
has been doing intuitive counseling nationally for more than 20 years.
She may be contacted at
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