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Tuesday, 19 December 2006 16:50 |
| | Andy Borowitz |
President George W. Bush attempted to build support for the increasingly unpopular war in Iraq today, arguing that Iraq is now "the main front in the war on gay marriage."
The president had never before linked the war in Iraq to the broader war on gay marriage, but in a nationally televised address today he made such a case.
Speaking from the Oval Office, the president said that Americaës enemies, such as Syria and Iran, were directly involved in sending wedding planners over the border into Iraq to plan gay weddings.
The
president said that were the United States to withdraw its forces now,
as some in Congress have suggested, it would be "sending a dangerous
message to gay engaged couples around the globe."
"Our choice is
simple," Mr. Bush said. "Do we fight the gay fianc?©s and fianc?©es in
Iraq, or do we leave and let them bring their fabulous nuptials to our
shores?"
But even as
President Bush was making his argument that the war in Iraq was part of
a larger war on gay marriage, gay wedding planners in that war-torn
country disputed the presidentës assertions.
Hassan
El-Medfaii, a gay wedding planner in Saddam Husseinës hometown of
Tikrit, said he had seen "no increase" in gay weddings since the
insurgency in Iraq began.
"In this country
right now, itës hard to find two people who can even stand each other,
let alone want to get married," Mr. El-Medfaii said.
Elsewhere, in a positive sign for holiday retailers, sales of totally useless items surged last week.
ï
Award-winning
humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author
of the new book "The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers."
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