If one wishes to kill a society — and many people are working hard to kill ours — there’s no better place to start than with the family.

Fogging-up the irreplaceable specialness of marriage between a man and a woman is a priority enthusiasm for the many who hate things they can’t understand.

Those thus motivated have achieved some measure of success by dishonestly promoting single-parent families as a “no consequence” option; encouraging same-sex marriage with an indifference to mother nature’s relentless messages on the symmetry found in the man/woman equation; and supporting a casual approach to sex that — irony of ironies —  makes today’s liberated women toys for little boys.

Don’t buy into this silliness. 

If you or someone you know or love has an interest in marriage, here’s a quick list of 10 things a new couple should “get” before they say “I do”:

 â€¢ Learn how to fight— Conflict is inevitable, and not knowing how to do it right is the number one marriage killer. Fussing will happen, but couples who figure out how to do it effectively will have staying power.

 â€¢ Gratitude — Being grateful is a skill. It takes practice. Marriages that are appreciated become like a precious diamond that is naturally nurtured, celebrated and protected. Gratitude puts wind under our wings to help us fly over the hard moments. 

 â€¢ An understanding of commitment — Though we say the vows, we rarely absorb the words. For love to grow to its deepest potentials, it requires loyalty given and received. “I do” – appropriately addressed – means we will renew our vows daily. 

 â€¢ Anger management — Forget the whole “get it off your chest” nonsense. Anger indulged grows into an addiction that destroys the container — including people and marriages — that holds it and unloads it. A strong eye on fairness and forgiveness a stellar antidote to anger.

 â€¢ Liberation — We’re talking about marriage, not indentured servitude. A couple that shines together as they grow as individuals is like a wisely captained ship that relies on a safe port to risk the seas. 

• Interdependency — Consider our three marital options – dependence where we over-rely on our partner; independence, where we are distant or detached; and interdependency where we carry our own weight, but bond, nurture, and give and take in balanced fashion.

• Love — You were worried for a minute, but, yes, this one is on the list. Love that’s pursed as a feeling is short-lived and usually selfish. Love that’s nurtured as an action can last a lifetime. I’m a big fan of the concept of working harder at giving love than getting it. Doing so makes us, our partner, and our unity safer and stronger. 

 â€¢ Build on the good as you address the not good — Over time, most couples do the opposite as they obsess on the bad and take the good for granted. Turning our pointy fingers inward toward our own not-so-goods helps fix that.

• Safety — Nothing works without physical, emotional and financial safety. Neglecting any of these is to introduce a cancer into our marriage that will eventually take its life.

• Remember, we marry at our own level of emotional development — It’s not always true, but it’s true most of the time. We manifest that maturity – or lack of same – in different ways, but most of us are unconsciously like water. We seek our own level. It makes it harder to become a critic of our partner if we remember that.

Marriage is going to make a comeback. 

The culture at large is starting to figure out the side effects of emasculating men; paradoxically turning women into men; raising kids without a mom and a dad; growing old without a partner; and other dangerous social constructs that have stomped on our society over the past half-century.

Part of this comeback will be a rededication to the discarded concept of normal.

A body temperature of 98.6; a heat setting of 70 degrees; driving in the middle of our lane; a cholesterol level below 200; the dependable rise and fall of the sun are all examples of “normal.”

The messages of nature that surround us and the words of God found in the Bible each offer a steady compass reading on the path to normalcy.