“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

— Theodore Hesburgh

The problem

No matter what the dark statistic – crime, drug abuse, early mortality, poverty or school shootings – the absence of a good and loving Dad is an early predictor of travesty.

Curiously, for the better part of the past half century, our society has been on an active mission to strangle Dads. Not surprisingly, most of the policies associated with this misguided enterprise track to the left.

No matter where one looks – be it abortion, welfare expansion, public housing, abandonment of the traditional family, broken education policies or faith detachment – the liberal agenda on Dads is anything but progressive.

Anger is not a solution

Witnessing the recent hyper-emergence of the angry anti- police, immigration enforcement, 2nd Amendment, Caucasian, and anything else outside of my imagined safe zone movement makes one thing clear – we’re training a lot of people to believe anger is a functional path to social advancement.

Reality 101 teaches a different course. Anger – like the left’s other compass points – is a path to personal empowerment that’s inevitably addictive and like all things addictive, a trap.

Our community’s liberal conformists are getting bored and depressed – anger does that to you too – but they’re not done with their attempts to undo our culture.

With an eye on a more positive course, this month’s good time to tip our hats to Dads. For those trying to resist the denigration of their importance, I thought a “Good Dad” cheat sheet might be helpful. Here’s ten points of light as a counter to the anti’s. 

The importance of choice

Genetics and environmental influences play key roles in how we turn out. Yet there are too many thriving people born in a ditch in India for the equation to be that simple.

The difference is found in choice. If you want to help your kid be a fulfilled adult, teach them to skip over influences they can’t control, and concentrate on the good choices they can.

The failure to integrate the importance of choice in our social safety net explains a 50+ year track record of failure. 

Dads, learn from that and run your childcare agency accordingly.

 Live in the moment

There are three armies we battle in life – the past, present and future. We can defeat one, maybe two, but never three.

Smart Dads teach their children to do battle with the big one – the present. That is, after all, the foundation of the past and the future.

We live in a culture which spends entirely too much time teaching children to dismiss the past and pretend today’s choices have no part in tomorrow. A better equation finds us learning from our past as we live today wisely and softly prepare for the future.

The magic key to misery

It doesn’t make any difference what the unpleasantry – injury, disability, depression, anxiety, etc. – the antidote is “skill.”

Once we figure out unhappiness is nothing more than a messenger encouraging us to find a better way, the pursuit of new skills can get us through most anything.

Kids taught how to solve problems versus run from symptoms are safer in a dangerous world.

The why, when and how of self-protection

Though we talk a lot about protecting children, we’re not so good at it. That conclusion begins an ends on a telling statistic – we’ve aborted 58 million of our off-spring.

Those children we don’t erase end up in a public education system notoriously devoted to liberal group-think. In this toxic mix are a host of emotional and physical bullies who target the independent as surely as the vulnerable.

Though school systems talk about protecting children, the number one job of most is to protect themselves. That point is demonstrated in many ways, but one standout is punishing children for standing up for themselves. A bully can get by with abusing a child twenty times and when that child hits back on the twenty-first, the system punishes the victim and thus rewards the perpetrator.  

It’s therefore important to teach children physical and emotional self-protection.  That means how to believe in their worth; how to respectfully deal with authorities; how to ask for help; how to verbally stand up; and how to punch a bad-guy in the nose when none of the above works.

Dad, when foolish school polices punish your child for resisting bullying, may I suggest dinner and a movie? “You didn’t protect me after I repeatedly informed you, so I had to protect me,” is couregeous and should be rewarded.  

America’s traditional success equation

Ignore the progressive apologists who tell you America isn’t special. Our exceptionalism is proven quite simply – in governance, medicine, education, faith, defense, technology and about everything else – we’ve set the tone for the world.

What’s America’s Success Equation? It’s as simple as four words – Liberty + Opportunity + Responsibility = Prosperity. Teach your kid the importance of the first three working in unison and you aid them in achieving the forth.

Everyone is wanting to come here for a reason. Your children fortunately don’t have to imigrate to access our success model – they do have to be taught its importance.

Solomon’s wisdom

The left likes to pretend our Bibilical foundation is irrelevent. Each day brings tangible revelation they’re wrong and that the Bible was built around real history – including a gentleman named Solomon – the wisest man on earth.

His pearls boil down to a few truisms: most of man’s pursuits are poisoned with vanity; honoring God’s will is the only compass that will keep us from getting lost in that vanity; and like all compasses there are four primary points of merit – laboring, loving, learning and living – as in celebrating the gift of.

Want to help your kids? Teach them Solomon’s Wisdom.

To love

Today’s culture gets an ‘F’ on teaching children how to love.

Self-absorption is not a form of love – nor are lust, enabling, or dependency. Those are sachrine-like substitutes for real sugar.

Honest love is that which we do for the betterment of others or ourselves. That’s a doing thing; a giving thing; and an uplifting thing.

Nat King Cole was right, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Teaching this skill is the biggest of the Dad jobs.

A functional moral code

Everyone has a moral code – the trick is finding a good one and practicing.  

Though Hinduism, Islamism, Buddism and Humanism have seasoned our world, it’s the Bible that’s made it. How’s that? Well just look at the ground we’ve covered above. Everything tracks right back to the functional moral code found in the Judeo-Christian faith.

Do I acknowledge a bias on this path to morality – absolutely. That’s because a Dad’s best teaching tools are his love and example. Christianity uniquely jells them both.

Teach your children to be conservative

The governed need to know about goverance. Conservatism – tracking to its root word Conserve [v. kuh n-surv] To use or manage wisely; preserve; save – is a smart path to understanding governance.

Good Dads teach their children what works. Conservatism understands the crucial difference in progress as in productive and progressive as in pretense.

Then there’s that American Success Equation thing. 

Liberalism ignores responsibility and starves liberty. Libertarianism likes opportunity and liberty but similarly discounts responsibility. Socialism kills all four. Only conservatism embraces the first three as the path to the last and thus is an honest political formula.

One last thing 

Whoops, that’s only nine. Where’s number ten?

That’s an easy fix – just go to the quote at the top of the page. The first nine give you a handy handbook for making sure you’re a good Dad. Add that “love your kid’s Mom thing” and you’ll be darn near a perfect one….

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Carl Mumpower, a psychologist and former elected official, is chairman of the Buncombe County Republican Party. He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .