By ROBIN SHOEMAKER

With the Internet, pornography is now exceedingly accessible and mobile. It offers huge libraries of video and much of it is free. 

On your computer, phone, or iPad, you can select any type of porn that you desire and skip to your favorite parts. The ubiquity of porn has changed mainstream society; it has contributed to the popularity of thongs, Brazilian waxes, and breast enhancements.

Pornography isn’t just the purview of men.  According to a study by the University of Sydney Graduate Program in Sexual Health, 30 percent of women confess to using online porn. 

Susannah Breslin of www.thefrisky.com lists “The Top Ten Reasons that Women Watch Porn:” among them curiosity, to learn new moves, to get in the mood, sexual release, and to kill time.  Breslin says that men watch porn “to get off” and because they’re bored.

All of this new sexual freedom and ideas arising from it should be making us very satisfied in bed. Right? Turns out that the age of Internet porn has created some real issues in intimate relationships.  

Pornography idealizes the aesthetics of the human body. Once a person gets used to seeing perfect bodies in a sexual way, it can become difficult for that person to become aroused by an attractive, but flawed, partner of flesh and blood. 

It offers every fantasy and fetish one can dream up — and many that one would never think to dream up. As a person consumes it more and more, he or she becomes desensitized to more common sexual activity. It takes a lot more “kink” to get things going.

Porn is most often used in a masturbatory fashion. There is no better sexual feedback than self-feedback. It is difficult for a partner to compete with self stimulation, for a partner does not have the instantaneous feedback to guide him or her. The masturbator is so used to being stimulated in a particular way that it is difficult to retrain the body to enjoy a partner’s touch.

All of these factors work to disable a person’s ability to connect in a meaningful way with a live human being. You don’t have to be addicted to it for porn to affect your relationship in a negative way. Regular viewing of pornography can quickly reduce sexual activity from being an expression of love and communication to merely a physical high. But no amount of physical pleasure is as satisfying or as lasting as real intimacy with another person.

In “What I Wish I’d Known Before Watching Porn,” Lauren Dubinsky of the Huffington Post says, “I wish that someone would have told me that researchers have suggested it sabotages your sex life.” “I wish someone would have told me it would make me feel less valuable to men and bring up insecurities for years in the bedroom.

“I wish someone would have pointed out pornography can establish your sexuality completely apart from real-life relationships, causing huge problems in your intimacy with real significant others.

“I wish someone would have told all the men I’ve dated that the porn they are watching is keeping them from being turned on by me, ultimately destroying our relationship.”

The good news is that there is a simple fix to the complications that pornography brings to a relationship.

According to Marnia Robinson in her July 11, 2011 Psychology Today article, “Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction: A Growing Problem:” If you stop watching it for 8-12 weeks (and try not to masturbate), you’ll get your mojo back.

So, yes, in my opinion, porn really is bad. For me, the risks far outweigh the rewards. 

Natural rights

Our Constitution is based on the concept of natural rights. What are natural rights? Why do we have natural rights? 

Our rights are natural (our nature) because they are the very reason for our existence. This leads to the question, “Why do we exist?” As a Christian I ask, “Why did God create us?”

I believe that God created us so that we could choose him. In order to choose him, we must have free will. In order to have free will, we must 1) be alive and 2) be free. Life and liberty: these are our most basic natural rights.

The primary purpose of U.S. law should be to protect our natural rights from being trampled upon by government and by other people.  Laws that govern behavior that does not infringe on others’ rights are wrong. These laws infringe on our liberty, a natural right.

For example, laws banning pornography are wrong. If a person wants to watch porn til the cows some home, that’s his business. It is his individual freedom to choose to behave destructively toward himself or not.  If he infringes on anther person’s life or liberty, for example he commits a sexual assault, then that crime should be prosecuted (without relation to the porn).

It is government’s job to protect you from others’ infringements on your rights. It it NOT government’s job to protect you from yourself.

Women love their shoes

What is it WITH women and shoes?

According to a 2007 poll by Consumer Reports National Research Center, U.S. women own, on average, 19 pairs of shoes and 15 percent of women own more than 30 pairs. Why do we need so many shoes?

Of course, the obvious reason is that we need more variety of shoes than men do in order to fit different occasions: sneakers are for casual walking, sandals are for a daytime date, heels are for a nighttime party. But a woman’s shoes are about much more than function.

Our shoes say something about ourselves. They make a statement. As Stacy London, star of TLC’s “What Not To Wear” says, “Shoes are the period at the end of an outfit.” Flip flops say you’re laid back. Boots say you’re confident. Flats say you’re smart. Pumps say you’re professional. Platforms say you’re daring.

Women also love shoes because they are fun and easy to try on; you don’t have to remove your clothes and get dressed again. Shoes fit no matter what size your body is. And the more unusual pairs allow you to walk “on the edge of fashion” without looking too vain.

Just as a single pair gives clues to a woman’s current mood, her shoe collection (both quantity and style), reveals whether she’s a nature lover, a pragmatist, a party animal, a fashionista, or a comfort queen.

Personally, I’m a sucker for heels. I like how I feel when I wear them. They flatter women: high heels elongate the body and enhance the rear and the bust.  When I dress to go out, I put on the outfit, I do the hair, and I apply the makeup. The tasks of “getting ready” are done. But when I slip on the shoes, I feel complete. I feel the feelings that I experienced when I first saw the pair in the store: excited, delighted, girly.  I feel ready to face the world.

So next time you greet a woman, take a look at her shoes. You’ll know her mood and her style. You’ll also get a good idea of how she’s feeling today. You may even catch a glimpse of her overall philosophy of life.

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Robin Shoemaker lives in Asheville and holds a bachelor’s of science degree in accounting from Clemson University.