By CECIL BOTHWELL

North Carolina is being governed today like the Banana Republic of legend and lore, with a legislature that is carroming out of control, high on the fumes of its own exhaust, and careless of what it might do to the people, the schools, the businesses and the future of our state.

They have become the butt of jokes and denigration on talk shows and in comedy clubs. They seem intent on making a mockery of representative government. And they don’t, apparently, give a damn what you or I or anyone else thinks.

Where to begin? The low-hanging fruit (or, more accurately, nuts) are the obvious idiocies. Bills have been filed to prevent cities from banning Big Gulp sodas at fast food restaurants and convenience stores; to ban female toplessness; to permit possum-drops; and to permit their dear Representative selves to accept unlimited gifts from lobbyists without reporting them. 

“Government for sale or rent, votes to let 50¢ (beat, beat) King of the Road ...” (Everybody sing along!)

But the more substantive bills are far worse. Right off the bat, they have refused federal Medicaid money (and thereby cut off N.C. recipients) and cut unemployment eligibility and payments. You sick, unemployed suckers will just have to panhandle, I guess.

Republicans, once champions of home rule (arguing that governments closest to the people are most responsive to the people) and for small government in general, suddenly morphed into Stalinesque autocrats when they gained the majority in Raleigh.

They intend to control the entire state from their central committee and are imposing their views on every possible issue that comes forward.

Are you a supporter of local family farms providing organic produce as a CSA or to local restaurants?

Would you like your city or county to help safeguard those farms?

Sorry, the General Assembly intends to ban local governments from imposing any more protections for organic farms than the state might choose to provide (which is, none, because the corporate lobbyists with the unreported gifts work for Monsanto and Archer/Daniels/Midland).

Do you want to protect greenspace in your community? Protect against siltation that kills rivers? Regulate pollutants from local industry? Sorry, the GA aims to take away the right of local governments to require any stricter environmental practices than the state. Oh, and the new head of the Department of Environment and Natural Resources wants to do away with the department. So much for state regulation.

Would it be reasonable, in your view, to keep public the registry of conceal/carry permit holders? (As it has been since conceal/carry permits were first issued here.) Sorry, the GA wants to make that information confidential. So, Ms. Abused Spouse with a Protective Order, we don’t want you to be able to find out that Mr. Bruiser is now packing. 

What about hiking on Sundays? Do you ever take a walk in the woods during hunting season? Of course, you wear blaze orange vest and hat and gloves (as a friend’s grandpa was when he was gunned down by someone who mistook him for a deer), but do you feel a little safer on Sundays when hunting is banned? Sorry, they’ve decided they want to allow gunning seven days a week, so you’d best take the kids to the mall.

Have you had any particular problem with flying out of Asheville (other than the limited service a small city sustains) or out of Charlotte? Me neither. But the autocrats in Raleigh believe independent airport authorities are a better plan, and are snatching those facilities from control by the citizens of the two cities.

Now if all of this were actually the product of drunken clowns, it would be bad enough. But, actually, it’s the work of ideologues doing the bidding of their puppet masters.

The major legislation introduced in Raleigh this year has been modeled, if not completely written, by the American Legistlative Exchange Council, a right-wing Republican entity funded by billionaires intent on stealing your money, depressing your wages, maximizing corporate profits and gaining further control of our national and state governments. They are committed, brazen and dangerous. 

Please pay attention. The future of your community, our nation and the world hang in the balance.

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Cecil Bothwell is author of eight books, including “Whale Falls: An Exploration of Belief and Its Consequences,” and a member of Asheville City Council.