Max Brooks speaks at UNCA

By JOHN NORTH

During a lengthy question-and-answer session that followed his talk last Friday evening at UNC Asheville, an audience member asked guest lecturer Max Brooks, “What was your favorite Zombie movie?”

“‘The Original Dawn of the Dead’ by Goerge Romero,” Brooks snapped. “George is the man. I met him like five times. I’m a cyncial Gen-Xer ... Romero’s generation was the baby-boomers .. That generation was so idealistic and then succumbed to insane greed.”

Another person asked about the items needs to survive a Zombie outbreak.

“Here’s the point. Most of the stuff you need in ‘The Zombie Survival Guide,’ you pretty much need anyway.
“In Southern California, where I live, we have natural disasters repeated every two years,” rotating between wildfires and torrential rains.

Elected officials “come on TV and say, ‘We were blindsided.’” To that, Brooks said cynically, “Really?” In truth, he said the officials are operating out of ignorance.

“In Southern LA, we have ‘go kits,” which contain basics needed to survive for several days, including First-Aid items. Brooks said all Americans should have such kits because everyone should be prepared for disasters.

A male student asked about the possibility of using cars that are powered by diesel fuel, if Zombie attack.
Sarcastically, Brooks said, “Obviously, diesel fuel will be plentiful.” To the audience, he said, “We’ve already started the vetting process” and the student who suggested using diesel fuel “might not” make an ideal group member. The audience, including the student, laughed.

As for weapons to use against Zombies, he said among the best, in a pinch, are an ice scraper or a root chopper.

A young woman asked Brooks what he thought about using “a good, thick walking stick” to fight off the Zombies.

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While almost everyone in line for autographs had Max Brooks sign copies of his books, Taylor Pfaff, a sophomore at Warren Wilson College (with green and blonde hair, convinced the famous author to sign a mere paper airplane.

After clarifying that the staff is made out of oak, Brooks mused “A good, oak staff,” which is used to hit them in the head and when they rise again, “hit them in the head again.” He shook his head, as the crowd laughed. “In the vetting process, you’re there.”

Someone asked Brooks for his view about a work titled “Day By Day Armegeddon.”

“Sir, I only ready my own works,” Brooks said. “Actually, he’s asking what would happen to vampires in a Zombie outbreak.” He then asked for the next question.

A man slightly older than the students making up the majority of the audience noted that he, like Brooks, is “ready for the Zombies.”

Nodding, Brooks quipped sarcastically, “These kids aren’t ready the way we are.” More seriously, he asserted, “We all know the world doesn’t move to the beat of just one dream.”
An audience member asked Brooks if, after writing his “Zombie Surival Guide,” there is “any oversight you’d like to clarify.”

“I did not clarify the use of a crowbow,” Brooks deadpanned. “A bow or crossbow only work if you’re in a group. There’s a place for everybody.”

Next, Brooks was asked if people can “learn anything from ‘The Walking Dead.’”

“Yes, just because AMC is ashamed of its shows,” Brooks said. “Isn’t it funny how the TV industry is the last to know” what is going on?

If Zombies attacked, “what would be your weapon of choice?” Brooks was asked.

“It’d be a root chopper,” Brooks said, as the crowd laughed. “But, within my group, I want someone to have an ice scraper, ax, sword, chainsaw and baseball bat,” among others. He noted it is best to fight Zombies with a variety of weapons.

Someone asked Brooks, “Do you ever plan to branch out and write about anything else?”

“Is there anything else?” Brooks quipped, as the audience roared.

Where would Brooks go if there were a Zombie invasion? he was asked.

“That’s an excellent question,” he said. “Next question?”

Which story does he get the most feedback on? he was asked.

“‘The Battle of Yonkers’ — I hear a lot on” that story, Brooks replied.

Another person asked Brooks, “Did you ever served in the military?”

“No, but I watched Fox News,” he quipped.

Is he working on a new book? he was asked.

“I’m actually working on a book that’s not about Zombies. It’s on World War I ... I’ve put that in a graphic novel and it’s coming out this summer.”

What would Brooks want most in a Zombie outbreak? an audience member asked.

“I’d want my family,” Brooks said. “Some people say they’d like to have (actor-martial artist) Chuck Norris with them,” but Brooks said he does not know whether Norris would make it through his vetting process.

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This is just a portion of the long line of mostly students who sought autographs from self-proclaimed Zombie expert Max Brooks last Friday night.

Another person asked Brooks if he were surrounded by Zombies, and he had just one bullet in his gun, would he shoot himself or shoot one Zombie and then experience a horrible death inflicted on him by the surviving Zombies.

Instead of answering the question, Brooks quipped that the nature of the inquiry would result in that individual failing in the vetting process of forming his group.

What would happen to one’s pets in a Zombie invasion.

“They would die,” he said, succinctly.

An older man asked what would happen to those with diabetes and other debilitating diseases. Should they fight the Zombies to the end, as they would lack the mobility to escape? he asked.

With a grin, Brooks said he could visualize his answer in a headline in the New England Medical Journal stating that “Brooks tells diabetics to go out swinging.” Again, the audience roared with laughter.

An audience member noted, “You have all of this infinite knowledge of a Zombie uprising — what would you do on that day?”

“Oh, my God,” Brooks replied. “I have all this knowledge.” He then quipped that he probably would yell, “I’m going to die!”

More seriously, he said, “If you’re in a Zombie outbreak, and you cannot identify Hudson (a character in “Alien”) in your group, then chances are you are Hudson.”

Someone asked, “Do you have any idea when a Zombie outbreak will happen?”

“That’s an excellent question,” Brooks said. “No ... In this country, you only know what’s going on in your community ... In America, we don’t know what’s going on around the world” because the news media has a hyper-local focus.
A young woman noted, “In Asheville, many of us are Buddhists, with compassion for all beings. What about Zombies?”

“Mao was a Buddhist — go for broke,” Brooks said, triggering much laughter from the crowd.

Someone asked, “Why are Zombies so popular now?”

“Good question,” Brooks replied. “It’s a way for us to exercise our apocalyptic anxieties. It a way for people to prepare” for the likelhood of looming disasters — both natural and manmade.

Many Americans are unable to make sense of what is going on in the world militarily, and natural disasters are proliferating, resulting in a number of people throwing up their hands and declaring, “I can’t understand what’s going on.”

However, because Zombies obviously are fictitious, people say, “I can prepare for them” because they are an abstraction. Brooks said he hears many comments from people who say the preparations they make for a Zombie outbreak are preparations that should make for emergencies anyway.

How does a Zombie invasion proceed from continent to continent? he was asked.

“Zombies can come from anywhere,” Brooks replied.