D.G. Martin

CHAPEL HILL —  “Actually, his wife is the smartest one in that family.”

We still hear that comment from time to time today even though it should have been buried as a relic from the long ago days when husbands were presumed to be the heads of families, with wives deferring to their greater wisdom and judgment.

Our models for the roles of men and women in marriage have changed. But back then the woman, as wife, was supporter and follower, an “equal partner” only in the sense that fulfilling her clearly subordinate role somehow gave her a special “equality.”

That older view holds on in places—in certain religious and cultural groups. You can see a big remnant of it in politics, too. Notwithstanding the growing success of women in elective politics, many people see think that the “ideal” candidate for major political offices is still an energetic male family man with a very supportive wife who is mother to the family’s children. She is attractive, articulate, and engaged in her community’s good causes. All well and good, but her role is subordinate to and supportive of her husband and his (or their) ambition for service and power.

What does all this have to do with today’s news?

Think of the ongoing political scandals that have surrounded two of the Carolina’s prominent political families--The Edwardses in North Carolina and the Sanfords in South Carolina.

Having a serious presidential contender from either of the Carolinas is a rarity. But the political talents of both former Senator John Edwards and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, backed up by their strong supportive spouses and model families, made both of them legitimate presidential prospects. Edwards almost made the finals in 2004 and 2008. Had he been elected Vice President in 2004, as he very nearly was, he could have been the leading Democratic contender for the highest office in 2012. This time last year, Sanford was on the short list of possible Republican candidates in the next election.

Sanford and Edwards shared something else.

Each married an extraordinary, smart, tough woman.

Carefully whispered behind their backs, however, lots of people were saying about both of them, “Actually, his wife is the smartest one in that family.”
Before her marriage, Jenny Sanford was a hardnosed successful investment banker and a vice president at the Wall Street firm of Lazard Frères. Then, she managed her husband’s campaigns for Congress and for Governor.

Elizabeth Edwards, herself a successful lawyer and communicator, mastered the nuts and bolts of the country’s health care problems and other political issues to a degree her husband never did. She could be charming or tough as a part of her husband’s political organization. Her mastery of the issues, her brave response to her illness, and her success as a writer made her a popular public figure in her own right.

The women were the “smart ones” in the family and the political partnerships they formed with their husbands.

As long as they were working, these were powerful partnerships, strong enough to reach for the White House….until the politically suicidal conduct of the husbands blew up everything.

Why? How do you explain it?

Was it the same need for ego gratification and adoration that is an infectious disease that always threatens successful politicians?

Or some delayed mid-life crisis?