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Wednesday, 12 July 2006 12:51 |
| | Andy Borowitz |
In an attempt to counteract the impact of former Vice President Al Gore??s cautionary film about global warming, ?®An Inconvenient Truth,?∆ Vice President Dick Cheney is starring in a new film advocating global warming, Mr. Cheney confirmed today.
The
Cheney film, titled, ?®A Really Convenient Truth,?∆ will open in theaters
nationwide in time for the fall 2006 midterm elections.
?®I saw the Al Gore movie, and quite frankly, the whole thing was a
downer from the word go,?∆ Mr. Cheney said at a White House press
briefing. ?®I thought it was time to tell the American people the good
news about global warming.?∆
?®The truth is, as the entire world turns into a red-hot tropical zone,
it will be possible to go on vacation wherever you are,?∆ Mr. Cheney
added. ?®When was the last time you wanted to take a vacation on a
glacier??∆
The vice president added that soon it will be so hot everywhere in the
country that it will no longer be necessary to go to Florida for
vacation, adding, ?®which is a good thing, because no one can afford to
drive to Florida anymore.?∆
Mr. Cheney said he would show his film to the U.S. Supreme Court and
let the justices decide whose film is better, his or Mr. Gore??s.
At the Supreme Court today, the justices found in favor of Mr. Cheney??s film by a 5-4 vote.
Elsewhere, after
a new study showed that boys with older brothers are more likely to be
gay, President Bush proposed a constitutional amendment banning older
brothers.
?ÿ
Award-winning
humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author
of the new book ?®The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers.?∆
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